Hey blog...
I need someone. ALMOST anyone.
Guess what..?
My mom blew her top. Broken mugs and tiny vases destroyed. Ok, it was only 1 mug and 1 small vase, but they were REALLY nice.
I'm shaken. Wouldn't you if someone slammed your bedroom door open, and started flinging baskets, slamming drawers and kicking things aside? Not my fault my room is in a mess. Now anyway.
Just coz your dumb dad probably in his sarcastic voice went and DEMANDED measuring tape. Ass. Yea, i call my dad ass sometimes. Never to his face. I'm not dumb. Why did he have to bother her???!!!! Just when i thought i could relax.
I'm seriously shocked.
Later: I just finished cleaning up the mess my mom made. I picked and binned everything already just now but i didn't vacuum. Looks good if i do say so myself. I don't dare mop since i don't know where to mop (it goes beyond jst the floor).
No one ever really gets what i go through everyday. Subconciously now i am always on my toes. I never know when someone will explode. I'm sick of being brought into every horrid thing that happens. Just coz i'm the eldest.
Maybe if someone knew my history they'd understand why i'm on my toes, why nowadays, every horrible thing that happens doesn't really affect me. Or it seems that way to people. Stuff does affect me, it's just that i absorb everything and it only shows when my emotions are too much. I feel like i should be crying but my brain says it would be stupid.
Even when my mom burst into the room my brain jumped into action to help her look, or seem like i was looking. HAH!...not funny. I guess my defense mechanism is to instantly busy myself so i won't feel anything. I can't really make up my mind if this is good or bad.
The picking up and throwing everything was good distraction. Finding things that needed to be thrown, very repititive. And vacuuming too. Always good distraction.
I suggest picking up the vacuum and just concerntrating on getting rid of the dust and dirt next time anyone feels like everything is on their mind.
Auf Wiedersien,
Liebe,
The totally seemingly emotionless Zurich.
ps. it didn't seem so bad after writing it, though i know better.
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