it's painful you know?

I feel so gila overwhelmed at this moment.

I'm so stressed.

Everything that happened today just seems too much to bear.

I feel like swallowing some pills and drifting off to eternal sleep.
That way, nothing can bother me right?

Icriedjustnow.
:(

I wish stuff would just get confirmed so aku ndak payah fikir2 lagi.
I wish/hope aku dapat pindah.

I wish i wasn't such a nerd yang ndak faham lelaki.
I wish i wasn't such an emotional freak.
I wish i never met you.
I wish i never said i love you.
I wish that i didn't try anything and stayed feeble Zurin.

I wish i never meant anything i said.
But i meant every single word and that's the saddest part.

But, i know, we're too different.
I tried to beat the stupid stereotype but i was the one to break down and agree with it.

I just know.
If i kept going on, memang i'll have tons of paranoid and jealous moments. Probably memang kita gaduh kan?
I know, i would probably also have those seventh heaven moments too but i know, that i hate those kinds of relationships.
I don't want a teenage relationship where the guy and girl after a while, every few months "Okay, i want to break up." and then, they get back together. Sakit kepala aku saja.

So i guess i'll wait yea?
Like i always say,
I want to make sure it's Mr.Right and not Mr.Right-Now.

My mum is my saviour.
She said to me "You're a late bloomer. But in the end, girls like you get the best."
You guys may not think that's much but to me it's like the light at the end of the tunnel.

That's exactly how i feel at the moment.
I feel like i'm stumbling along a dark winding tunnel with only hope to keep me going forward.

ihatebeingalone
Zurich