I am ACTUALLY back :)

HEEEEEY.

My usual greeting nowadays.

So I've really ignored blogspot for ages but I really blame it on SPM.

And yes people, this girl has graduated from high school :D

I am officially done with that. But I miss it. APIIT/Sapura has been the greatest thing that has happened to me and I'm a bit sad that it's over.

I'm thankful however for the opportunity I had and I'm very happy that I had the most amazing time there and met the most amazing people. They helped me change in the most positive way though I sometimes wonder whether me talking so much is a blessing or a curse.

Without moving to that school and meeting those people who I truly call friends, I'd never have known how to express myself and accept myself better.

You guys are special people in my book.

I can hear Tara go "You're welcome" once she reads this. Haha.

Anyway, since SPM is over (grueling 3 weeks of my life) I've been doing absolutely NOTHING.

That might sound crazy to you but it's been heaven for me. I'm honestly happy at home being able to potter about, going online as much as I want and not having to shower till late. There I said it.

I mean, I've got out a bit with friends and loads with my family but no I have not gone looking for a job and no I have not started school.

My reason is that I've always been rushed to choose what I want to do and now I'm just gonna take my time to figure it all out. I get stressed out nowadays thinking about the future. In my own way I'm a control freak. I want my life to turn out a certain way and I hate not being able to control that. It doesn't help that I want so many things and none of them seem to have a way to fit. Mad aren't I?

Anyway, enough bitching and moaning. Good news is that I'm going of to my hometown in Sabah to go learn to drive. I'm traveling alone so no mom or brothers. I'm gonna go live with my aunt and hopefully she won't find me a nuisance for a month or so.

It's gonna be a eye-opening and independent making experience. I'm a bit worried and nervous but in my mind, if I don't go out there and do something like this I will never know what it's like.

What it's like to live away from your family whom you're so close to and basically live with 'outside' people. Okay, I'm pretty close with my relatives but I've never been in any position of having to depend on them.

I know this is odd but I'm also getting ready for when I do have to completely separate myself from my family for any reason. I can survive not being around them but I don't think I could live without them completely. Does that make sense?

Someone once told me I rambled on here but who cares? I can write anything I want.

Oh and I never realized I changed my background. It's pretty though :)

Auf Wiedersehen.